My life is currently full of varying female personalities. I have my wife, my mother, and I currently manage 6 woman at work and I work around another 6-7. Each of these woman require a different tactic in order to effectively coexist with them. Despite the differing personalities, one thing that remains somewhat consistent is how I outwardly display emotion and how I actually feel about different situations. I have now been in the work force for 10 years. I have been in a management role for 5. This is the first time I have managed so many personalities. I personally believe a lot of woman wear their emotions and feelings on their sleeve. Almost every word, sentence, statement, has a lot of "feelings" behind it. They need to make your aware every detail and how they feel about it. Conversely, men may although feel the same way most women do, but they do not outwardly display that. We proceed through our day with a sense of "roboticism" that would make Optimus Prime blush. As men, we face lots of different types of stresses throughout our day including dealing with drama between individuals. Still our outward appearance remains unchanged. Now I am not saying that our day doesn't affect us, it is just we handle it in two totally different ways.
After a long day men and women deal with their days in different ways. Most women want to tell you about every gory detail and how it made them feel. They want to talk about what happened when they were standing in the lunch line and how ugly this girls dress was. Who the f&#k cares? Most men just want to forget the day and move on to the next. Go home and play a game of Madden or zone out at the computer for an hour. Men want to strip themselves of their day and prepare for the next. Woman want to relive the days events and explore how each event impacted them. To me this is like holding on to baggage. Who wants to carry around baggage all day? Not me. In my specific field of work I talk ALL day long. The last thing I want to do is come home and talk some more. Maybe that's just the single child in me. Sometimes I just want to be quiet. That is why most nights I stay up so late. That is the only time in the day when no one is talking and no phone is ringing. I think sometimes silence is golden. It allows you to recalibrate and adjust.
In my experience when I don't show that I am actively interested in her conversation it means "I don't care". The truth is I do care, but don't have the mental energy to show it. I am interested to hear what all happened with your day not just because I care but because I know you care. I know it means a lot to you. But you have to realize I am mentally spent for the day and need a quick recharge.
Now this is were the problem happens. How do you genuinely achieve what each other wants at the end of the day? How do you get what you want out of the evening and give her what she wants our of her evening?
Well for me, I am still trying to answer that question...
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