A snippet of my Madden dominance.

Mr. Robotic

I think as men we are hard-wired to go through life situations void of any emotion. As I sit here typing this, I sit here an angry individual. A few short hours ago I was having an argument with my wife. This is an argument we have encountered several times.

My life is currently full of varying female personalities. I have my wife, my mother, and I currently manage 6 woman at work and I work around another 6-7. Each of these woman require a different tactic in order to effectively coexist with them. Despite the differing personalities, one thing that remains somewhat consistent is how I outwardly display emotion and how I actually feel about different situations. I have now been in the work force for 10 years. I have been in a management role for 5. This is the first time I have managed so many personalities. I personally believe a lot of woman wear their emotions and feelings on their sleeve. Almost every word, sentence, statement, has a lot of "feelings" behind it. They need to make your aware every detail and how they feel about it. Conversely, men may although feel the same way most women do, but they do not outwardly display that. We proceed through our day with a sense of "roboticism" that would make Optimus Prime blush. As men, we face lots of different types of stresses throughout our day including dealing with drama between individuals. Still our outward appearance remains unchanged. Now I am not saying that our day doesn't affect us, it is just we handle it in two totally different ways.

After a long day men and women deal with their days in different ways. Most women want to tell you about every gory detail and how it made them feel. They want to talk about what happened when they were standing in the lunch line and how ugly this girls dress was. Who the f&#k cares? Most men just want to forget the day and move on to the next. Go home and play a game of Madden or zone out at the computer for an hour. Men want to strip themselves of their day and prepare for the next. Woman want to relive the days events and explore how each event impacted them. To me this is like holding on to baggage. Who wants to carry around baggage all day? Not me. In my specific field of work I talk ALL day long. The last thing I want to do is come home and talk some more. Maybe that's just the single child in me. Sometimes I just want to be quiet. That is why most nights I stay up so late. That is the only time in the day when no one is talking and no phone is ringing. I think sometimes silence is golden. It allows you to recalibrate and adjust. 

In my experience when I don't show that I am actively interested in her conversation it means "I don't care".  The truth is I do care, but don't have the mental energy to show it. I am interested to hear what all happened with your day not just because I care but because I know you care. I know it means a lot to you. But you have to realize I am mentally spent for the day and need a quick recharge. 

Now this is were the problem happens. How do you genuinely achieve what each other wants at the end of the day? How do you get what you want out of the evening and give her what she wants our of her evening? 

Well for me, I am still trying to answer that question...

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Opening Remarks...

As I was sitting in the car with my mom, we were discussing "For Colored Girls". I mentioned that I wish there would be a follow-up sequel called "For Colored Boys", but sarcastically mentioned it would be a pretty dull concept for a movie as you hardly see any expressions of emotion from most men. Her response was "Well, why don't you write it?"(SN: This is why I think my mother is special. She is always challenging me to expand my mind. To have me believe that I can do anything.) My immediate internal response was "hell no". But as I got to thinking, there really aren't any men(specifically those of the "Colored" variety) that would open up themselves that much to even express what goes on internally.

Now before I go any further this is NOT the beginning of some script that I'm about to write or some sort of blog to start dissing the other gender.

As we(me and my mom) continued to talk that evening I began to realize that there isn't much of a voice for the black man that isn't A) Struggling or B) Making loads of money playing a sport. In movies, news, sports, etc. we always hear and see black men who are in the hood trying to make another dolla by any means necessary or are making loads of money playing something. About men who beat their wives or men who will rent rims rather than paying their child support. But what about the black man who does the right thing? What about the black man who doesn't aspire to be the next Kobe, but wants to do right by his family? What about the black man that doesn't fall into a stereotype? What about the black man who just wants to make a name for himself in this world with his brain and not his athleticism? I consider myself to be a man who strives to achieve these things each and every day. Now by no means am I perfect or even close. There have been a lot of lessons learned for me and I continue to learn everyday.

One of the reasons I wanted to start this blog, was to express some of the views of the competent black man. To give myself an outlet for thoughts that do not leave the confines of my head, but maybe should. I am sure some of the things that I will share were not only conceived by me.

Another reason I started this was for more of a educational tool for myself. One of my biggest weaknesses in school was English. I have found that as the years have gone by since I stepped away from college, the more my own vocabulary has escaped me. I find myself searching for words more often and I also have difficulty completing sentences, both on paper and in speech. As I get older I want to progress in life, not regress and noticing these things has caused me to rethink my approach. The English language is in my opinion one of the most underrated skill you could have. It has started wars and ended them. My goal is to become more proficient at it.

This blog will be a collection of my own thoughts, rants, observations, and sometimes just silly crap, but all of it will be me. 100% me.

Any rational comments and thoughts will always be welcome...